The Double Standard of How We Treat Male and Female Feminists

We live in a society where double standards are a common frequency. Example: If a woman has a lot of sex, she is a 'slut' and condemned, if a man does it, he is a 'lad' and congratulated. But what has come to my attention in the past few months is quite a significant double standard in feminism. What I've noticed is that we tend to treat male and female feminists very differently. If a woman declares herself a feminist and makes a stand about it, there are people watching her every move, ready to criticise. If a man declares himself a feminist, he is more often than not lauded with praise and declared a 'hero'.

Exhibit A: Emma Watson made a valid speech about gender equality for the United Nations and yes, there was a distinct lack of intersectionality mentioned but nonetheless it was still a damn good speech. However, in the days that followed it seemed that for every article praising her, there were 3 more criticising her. They claimed it 'wasn't a game changer' and then went on to tear her speech apart, overanalysing it and looking at it under a microscope. Okay, it wasn't a game changer, but what speech ever has been? Then, when Mark Ruffalo declared himself a feminist and published an essay he was a 'hero'. His essay was quite good I'll give him that but like Watson's speech, lacked mention of intersectionality and just went on to say why you should be a feminist. There have been plenty of articles and essays about why we should call ourselves feminists, so why was Mark Ruffalo's deemed to be the best?

I'll tell you why. For years feminism has been seen as exclusive to women, that it only benefits women. But it doesn't. Feminism is working to de-stigmatise male sexual assault, to ensure that custody battles aren't gender biased and is redefining masculinity among other things. But people don't see that. They only see how feminism benefits women, and more often than not, showcase misandry. So when a big shot Hollywood actor declares himself a feminist, everyone goes wild and when an equally successful actress declares herself a feminist, people criticise and think 'what's new?'. But we should be celebrating anyone who has that big of a reach to various people who then not only declares themselves a fighter for equal rights but actually puts that into practice and as a result is able to influence others.

Pop Culture Tuesday - The Growing Up A Girl Hashtag

A few days ago I came across the brilliant, and incredibly truthful Twitter hashtag #GrowingUpAGirl. It addresses issues such as being told to cover up if your bra strap is showing but yet boys can walk around with their underpants showing. It highlights how we tell women to be comfortable in their own skin, yet magazines continue to publish articles about female celebrities gaining weight, wearing what they deem to be 'inappropriate' clothing because they are plus size etc. And it's true.

When we grow up, we are indoctrinated by the media, even as young girls, to want our prince charming, to love pink and dresses. We watch programmes where the mother stays home and 'looks after baby' while the father goes off to work, which is highlighted when you see young children playing 'Mummies and Daddies' in school playgrounds, endorsing these gender roles. I know not every child takes part in this activity, but a scarily large amount do.

Growing up a girl, we are taught that our periods are shameful and disgusting and should never be talked about. Just look at the packaging for sanitary products! They are wrapped like sweets, in different colours, packaged in 'feminine' boxes to show how discreet they are, because god forbid a tampon falls out of your bag when you're at school. And actually, periods aren't shameful (they can be pretty disgusting sometimes though) they are what allows us to reproduce (you don't have to obviously - that is a person's choice) so no periods - no babies, and no babies = no future. And then if we're the slightest bit moody, boys the think it's acceptable to ask us if we're on our period. I'm sorry, I didn't realise that all my mood changes are due to my menstrual cycle.

Growing up a girl, we are either portrayed in the media as crazy hormonal bitches who have gone off the rails or sugary sweet Disney princesses. There is no in-between. Look at the TV programmes, there is a stereotypical pretty one who is also incredibly dumb, and the smart nerd who looks like she'll never get a boyfriend. Can we just stop with this please! We are more than this - so stop treating us like we are.

Growing up a girl, we are taught to be afraid of strange men, for fear of getting raped/sexually assaulted. We are taught that we have to wear clothing that society deems acceptable so as to even avoid these situations because we live in a society where the victim continues to be blamed.

Growing up a girl, we are taught to accept inferiority because if we stand up to this inequality we are labelled a crazy social justice warrior and we're taught that if we stand up, and are anything other than meek and docile then we are being too 'masculine' or 'bossy' or a 'bitch'.

Growing up a girl, we are lectured on what's ladylike and what's not. Example: "Don't sit with your legs apart, that's not ladylike". Actually, since I am a lady, everything I do is technically ladylike.

Growing up a girl, we are taught that if we engage in sexual activity we are a slut/whore/slag/tart etc. but if we don't we are a prude. Can you think of the male equivalent to those words? The closest I've ever seen is probably "man-whore" but again "man" has been put in front of it because the word "whore" is usually only applicable to women.

Growing up a girl, we told to take catcalling as a compliment. Whenever we would meet people as young girls, more often than not we would be told "don't you look pretty?" which just reinforces the idea that for girls, beauty is better than brains. And then. if we answered a maths/science/any stereotypical 'male' subject correctly, *some* boys will mutter under their breath "what a show off".

Isn't it time we changed this? Isn't this problematic?

*I know this post only really refers to 'First World Feminism' but I'm going to be writing up posts about 3rd World Feminism soon*

*Note: This post is applicable to cisgender girls - some parts may apply to transgender girls and the period section does apply to transgender boys*

I'm a Feminist Babysitter

I'm sure many of you have seen the recent essay Mark Ruffalo published, in which he said 'To quote an old friend "I'm not the feminist babysitter". While I respect a feminist's right to say that - I want you to know that I am a feminist babysitter. I want to educate people about feminism because that's where the hatred for feminism comes from - misunderstanding and ignorance. I would love for people to ask me questions about feminism and to engage in healthy debate to encourage support, or at the very least tolerance, for feminism. Because that is how we change the conversation and people's perspectives - through education.

I think it's important that more of us (if you want to) try to be feminist babysitters teachers to those who don't understand it, rather than ignoring them. I never had anyone explain feminism to me, I had to figure it out for myself through social media threads, articles from Everyday Feminist etc. and various YouTube videos. I'm still figuring it out now.

I don't anyone to feel like they are isolated - to ignore feminism because they can't understand it - and as a result turn their back on feminism. We need to change that and even though 'independent research' to form your own opinions is necessary, we need to teach, not tut, at people who mix up the definitions of feminism and misandry (even though it kills me every time I hear the at feminism is "man hating".)

Obviously though, if you don't want to and think people should educate themselves then I respect your right to do so, Equally, if like me, you want to help people understand the true meaning of feminism, then that's okay too.

Pop Culture Tuesday - Stop Defending Carter Reynolds

A few days ago, a video emerged online of 19 year old Vine star Carter Reynolds trying to force his 16 year old (UNDERAGE) ex-girlfriend into oral sex. If that wasn't bad enough, Reynolds then had the audacity to not even apologise himself, but had to be forced to!

Undoubtedly, as anyone would in that situation, his ex-girlfriend suffered a nervous breakdown and is currently receiving treatment at a psychiatric hospital. Reynolds then mocked her breakdown calling her 'psychotic' over Twitter not only showing no remorse for his actions but mocking the trauma she suffered.

If that wasn't disgusting enough, Reynolds played the victim card.. despite the fact he wasn't the victim. claiming the video was an invasion of his privacy! Too right it was because can you imagine if that video hadn't been posted? People would still be in love with Reynolds, slaves to the lies he tells, that he is an ordinary guy. Call me old fashioned but I didn't think ordinary people tried to pressure their exes into sexual acts. Now he has been exposed as a horrific person who shouldn't be given the time of day.

However, even with the video evidence and his tasteless tweets, his legion of fans have started using the hashtag #weloveyoucarter claiming that 'he made a mistake'. PRESSURING SOMEONE INTO PERFORMING A SEXUAL ACT (especially when they're underage!) IS NOT A MISTAKE. It is despicable, and our support should lie with his ex, Maggie, rather than this monster she previously dated.

Pop Culture Tuesday - Go home meninism, you're drunk.

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past year, you've probably heard about the latest Internet movement against feminism: meninism.

Meninism is a men's rights movement that claims to campaign for men to have the same equality as women. Okay then. If you want to be equal to women then be prepared to be paid 23% less, be prepared to be blamed for your sexual assault because your clothes were too revealing, be prepared to have society define you by your ability to reproduce and be prepared to have your hygiene products taxed as luxuries. Because that is what being a woman means more or less. (I know there are a lot more issues affecting women but I didn't have time to list them all.) While I am aware that there are women meninists, the majority are men hence, my points are aimed at men.


One point I don't think you're aware of though is that while you're tweeting that you're a meninist because "Women need to start appreciating us for MORE than just our hot bodies... " think about this: feminism does that. Feminism is trying to prevent body objectification of both men and women full stop. Feminism is promoting the idea that men shouldn't have to pay on the first date, be the breadwinner etc. Feminism is redefining masculinity to mean that if you cry that doesn't mean that you lose your masculinity. So before you moan on twitter, maybe you should research what feminism is doing for everyone (including you) before you start mocking awful issues such as abortion and domestic violence.

And female meninists, see above. Have you seen what feminism has done for you over the past century? It has gotten us the right to vote, the right to work and the right to be more than society's stereotypes. So before you mock it and claim that it's "man hating" please consult a dictionary and history textbook. Thanks.

Pop Culture Tuesday: Body Objectification

This is my first PCT post and today I'm going to be looking at Chris Pratt's comment that “I think it’s appalling that for a long time only women were objectified, but I think if we really want to really advocate for equality, it’s important to not objectify women less, but objectify men as often as we objectify women.”
Slight problem there Chris. Equality doesn't mean objectifying people more, but less. Equality means to stop treating everyone like they're a piece of meat to be savoured. Equality is fighting to stop valuing others based on just looks but personality, intelligence etc. We need to stop placing so much on face body value and concentrate on what's really important: the people we are and the people we hope to become.
I mean, let's face it, while men haven't been objectified as much as women (not by a long shot). they're still objectified. We need to stop admiring people based on looks and physique and concentrate on spreading the word of feminism and fighting towards the common goal of gender equality. Objectification is inequality because the person being objectified doesn't really have a choice on whether they're objectified or not (no matter what they're wearing) and the power is in the hands of the objectifier.
What do you guys think? Do you think Chris was right or wrong? Comment below.

My Feminist Awakening

Seeing as this is my first post, I thought I'd start at the beginning: the moment I realised I was a feminist.

It began in a seemingly unordinary Games lesson when a thought occurred to me, why did all us girls seem to only ever do dance and gymnastics, when the boys always did football and rugby? Why couldn't we ever do football or rugby? So, in awkward 13 year old fashion, I asked my teacher. Her reply is something I will never forget. It changed my perspective on the society I lived in and how I viewed myself. She replied "Well, you girls have got a special job later on in life haven't you? You're going to have babies, we do this to protect you." My little world, the world I had so carefully cultivated around me, came crashing down and I entered a deep existential crisis. This would be my first, and certainly not my last, encounter with sexism. Growing up, I had never felt like I wasn't equal to the boys so this came as a shock to me. Was that all I was to the people who were supposed to encourage me, guide me and help me become ready for the adult world? Just a host for a future I wasn't even sure I wanted? Was this how the people close to me viewed me as? So I did what any teenager with unanswered questions would do. I turned to Google. While lots of articles popped up telling me I should want to be a mother because that's what girls are supposed to be, I found my safe haven in a no-nonsense post talking about stopping gender roles which led me into the wonderful world of feminism, a world which would let me know that my uterus does not define who I am and who I want to be.

Since then, I have redefined my definition of what it means to be a woman and taken an interest in lots of other issues that I didn't even know were issues to begin with because they had been ingrained in me since the day I was born.

So that's my 'awakening'. What was yours?